Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Stalker Gist + Meme

Hhm, first of all i'd like to thank the lovely lovely people who left me messages on blog and Ugo and blogsis, excitedjade who dedicated posts to me, it was very nice of you. Wish I could start off by thanking everyone one after the other but you're all just so lovely and nice. Thank you. I had a nice and quiet day. Just a couple of friends over, cooked and had fun. Birthdays are mainly for giving thanks and reflections for me, and I'm just grateful that I have started a new year.

Blogsis, 'Moni tagged me in this meme so here are 7 things you don't know about me:
* I once ran a cross-country race for my team in high school, without practicing for the race at all. Someone pulled out in the last 5 minutes and being one of the peeps in charge (was actually in charge of marching but busybody dey catch me), I volunteered when no one was willing to go. I didnt know the route as I had never practiced, so I had to follow the crowd, I can run fast but not for long because of the second point below..
* I am asthmatic...(so I got a lot of attacks on that day and I must have overdosed on my inhaler...sometimes I just do things like that to push myself to see how far I can go..I did finish the race though technically I should have landed in the hospital and wasnt even the last person but I doubt I will try a stunt like that again)
* I eat these raw, i also eat them cooked of course but emphasis is on raw


* I can sing the Halleluyah chorus in alto
* I have 9 uncles and 8 aunts of which one of the aunts is my mate...(go figure!)

* I am an extremely fast reader.. I finish novels in a few hours (not talking of danielle steel flats)
* I lurrrvvvvvvv the smell of fresh laundry especially just outside the door of laundry rooms
So here goes my stalker gist. It was about 5 or 6 years ago. It was a sunny sunday and I had just had an oh-so-lovely day where I had spent my sunday watching over the babies in the creche department of my church and I was walking on cloud nine as this was my favourite thing to do. The service was over and the parents had come to collect their little tots so I went to the main church building. The head usher saw me and said someone had been looking for me but that he didn't know where the person was. I said ok, little did I know it was not okay at all! I went outside to the car park with Twix (I mentioned her in Nostalgia ii, if she could be my better half, she would be!). A young man suddenly tapped me on my shoulder and I turned round to face him. Twix left and the following dialogue ensued (cant remember it in full but I will try my best)

Stalker: Hi
Me: Hi, can I help you?
Stalker:You're name is Mimi right?
Me: Yes it is (I am now very puzzled as I have never seen his face before)
Stalker: (breathes a loud sigh of relief and a wide smile appears on his face) Oh thank God. You don't know how glad and happy I am. You have no idea. This is the happiest day of my life.
Me: Really?Sorry, do I know you from somewhere? (looking confused)
Stalker: No you don't but I hope you will know me very well
Me: (thinking he is just a random guy wanting to try his luck) sorry I don't have time for all this.
Stalker: ahhh, you will have time o. See, you don't understand I have been looking for you for over a year now. It has taken me so long to find you so dont think you will just walk away like that. (!....he surely got my attention this time)
Me: looking mightily puzzled....stares at him
Stalker: You are the love of my life (ha, this guy is serious oh!)
Me: What did you say?
Stalker: I said you are the love of my life. I have searched high and low for you (trips mehn..me i jus dey look, american wonder!)See, you may not remember this (he puts his hand in his jacket and brings out a photograph of me and shows it to me).
Me: (still staring at american wonder...i am so much in shock i cant even find a name for the psycho standing in front of me..) Where did you get this from??!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stalker: It is from over a year ago. It was a wedding you attended that you were a bridesmaid at. I didnt attend but I saw your picture while one of the photographers put it on display and I just had to have it and you in my life. I bought it and went to the church that the wedding was at for several weeks without seeing you. I asked people there who you were but they said they werent sure. There was another church close by so I started to attend there and later started to ask of you and a lot of people knew you. They told me you were no longer at that branch but at another branch, most people were not so helpful in telling me which branch it was but eventually I found someone who did. (Is this guy for real?) They pointed me towards this branch and after so long I found you
Me:You're joking right..This is a joke.
Stalker: (gets visibly upset) how dare you say I'm joking!! I kiss your picture every night (WHATTT? i seriously couldn't believe what i was hearing) I pray to God that one day we will be together forever, I sleep with your picture under my pillow..how can you call what I feel for you a joke (he is now angry and is very upset, he is not joking o...ehn...what do I do...psycho...I have watched too many american films o but I was not even close to america..where did they find this one?)
Me: I'm sorry I dont know you and I dont think we can spend a forever together. Your feelings are quite flattering but I am quite busy with a lot of things, I am not looking for a relationship
Stalker: I was made for you. I will wait for you, you're my angel. I dream of you
Me: (now upset and the thought of him lighting candles to my picture and doing 'juju' to it suddenly scared me, I shouldn't wake up one day and start professing love for Mr Psycho!) ehm, I'm sorry but I cant help you out, but I would like my picture back please
Stalker: (raising his voice) NO WAY!!! you are mine, i will make you mine. no one can have you. it has taken me this long to find you. your picture ke? it is mine....(he starts to rant)...
Twix comes and starts to ask what the problem was and I told her...

Twix: Haaa...is all she could say (she looks at him in amazement then retreats.. yep, we both watched those american films together so I guess she knew better ..lol..she went to get help)
.
Her brother and the security guard of the church now came and started to talk to the guy (more like bullying). They told him not to show his face around the church or me again. I was quite shaken as he wasnt quite normal and I didnt understand the kind of 'love' he had for me, but men, I no like dt kain at all! Meanwhile, I never did collect that picture as he refused to let it go, we offered to pay him all sorts of money but when Twix's brother and the security man started to bully him, he walked away quick, holding onto the picture. I dont think I ever saw him but then I left for England not that long after.
People, esp. in Naija, if someone takes your picture at a wedding, make sure you purchase them all!!!! You dont want no psycho sleeping with it under his pillow!!
~Mimi~

32 comments:

Anonymous said...

ist!!!!hahahahahaha

Anonymous said...

ist!!!!hahahahahaha

Anonymous said...

I so sick and tired of all thes stalkers to the extent i even made a poem for them. They won't leave someone alone, they can never take no I don't want you for an answer, They are now becoming to much kai.I won't forget the one that happened to me last week I almost called the cops for his ass. STALKERS PLEASE ALLOW US TO BREATH!!!

SET said...

Thx FOR THE MEME, DONT RUN LIKE THAT AGAIN, NOT HEALTHY. SORRY I AM BEING MOTHER-LIKE. LAUNDRY SMELL IS FRESH, I CO-SIGN.

IJEOMA said...

Chei!!!!... i used to run cross country for my high school. it was actually the best of times.. of course.. as you know. cross country na hard job sha..

As for your stalker i am even amazed that you entertained the conversation.. I would have told him to fuck off and sought an exit route.. haba.. what nonsense..

i am glad your birthday went well sha..

Nyemoni said...

You eat pepper raw! Egad!! Pele on the asthma thing... hope you have grown out of it? I also like the smell of fresh, clean clothes...

And then as for the stalker! YEPA... I would have run for dear life! Did you take your picture with you? Sure hope so...

Anu boy said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog...

this babe u de try ohhh... so you had time to even talk with the guy... you are lucky he did not even use thosejuju rings they call "touch and follow" if i were you... i will run cos i know my life is depending on how far my legs can take me mehnnn..
but we should all be really thankful to God, cos some are no more alive to tell thier own stories...

God de ohhhh

Tayo said...

You eat red peppers raw? Ewwwwww!
Lol @ anu boy, "touch and follow" ring
Mimi, na wa o. So the guy searched for you for a whole year, sleeping with your pix under his pillow, and you refused to say yes? Haba! You wicked o!
But seriously, the guy got some issues. One year? Men make that lots of issues.

dolly said...

You eat pepper raw.. na wa o

9ja Opeke said...

You truly are a strong woman...
But Mimi seriously if that kind of stalker happens in London...plz do alert the police and immediately find a way you are safe (just in case, the police delay in answering you).
Yes, we are laughing abt it now and we are so glad that Naija nefer kolo too much lak pipo fo dis side...Just looking out for you, because I am sooo looking forward to reading about your Graduation, Wedding, and first baby post (smile)...Take care.
I hope you are having a great day?

Ugo Daniels said...

Geez, this one don pass stalking o. Its complete obsession in gear 6 apprently.

My God, i was just imagining how you were feeling when he started saying you're his and he's gonna have you, by any means.

God forbid bad thing. Seriously, i think he must be mentally unbalanced. Something is definitely wrong smoewhere.

However, you must be a one hawt! chic for da guy to fall in love with yu by proxy..'wink'

Naija Vixen said...

OMG!!! Thats real freaky...not meaning to alarm you more or anything!!!

Nyemoni said...

I always forget to say this... I love the song on your page!!! Never heard it before now....

snazzy said...

pele, though the comedy was priceless. though I can just imagine the wedding photographers saying "make una buy ur foto o! otherwise some yeye man wey for carry am and begin to follow una" well it's possible. anything to make a sale. laters.

Pink-satin said...

lol..me sef i have many aunts that are my mates....anywayz....read my page or 9ja okpeke's blog for details on blogville idol

Mr.Fineboy said...

Whaaaa? What did he expect? That you'd say "Oh I agree..you're my angel too.." Meanwhile I saw ur pic on facebook too, ur pretty o..I'm gonna go and print it out so i can stalk u too. LOL, jokes. Great post.

Ugo Daniels said...

Damn you mr. fineboy. I was about to scream to high heavens t be given the addy, then i say jokes. Chei!

Erhn, are you on facebook?

Sparkle said...

DAMN!
dat song..Don't Change
I'm stealing it...I love it

Diva-sta said...

loolz dats scary...lucki u went to england because if it was me ill be scared to go back to that palce gain....and i would ave asked 4 ma photo bak..dnt care

laspapi said...

you eat pepper raw, ~mimi~? But its the jand one you can do that with o. The naija brand will convert you to Hare Krishna if you try that stunt.

lol at your stalker story. Let's hope he can't afford a plane ticket to England.

ExcitedJade said...

my sister.. this is funny... u eat raw pepper, the things u do sef... i just hope to meet u somewhere, someday.

and ur stalker.. na colomental.

classybabe said...

that your stalker was scary,some people are just twisted

LondonBuki said...

OMG, Scary Stalker!!!! SCARRRYYY!!!

Happy Belated Birthday!!!!!

I love red peppers raw too... LOVE THEM!!!! I mean the sweet ones o :-)

Enjoy the rest of your week.

Pink-satin said...

oh mimi...pls pls be a contestant..we have enuff judges as it is...abeg...let us know sa..lov...let me go and read this post jare

BlogVille Idols said...

yay!tanx tanx tanx..will get info to u soon...and yes yes u can report whatever news u want..Good luck girl

Pink-satin said...

hey mims tan for the free advert o....

Pink-satin said...

hey as regards the question u left on my page...if contestants make a mistake they can delete it and start all over again without others hearing it..wen u sing ur perfect song you then u send it...check out the voice player on the blogville idol page and try to leave us a comment just to see how to works

and no we dont want u on the administartive team ,...wink wink

Bitchy said...

Lol! You're so right about the picture thing. If anyone takes your picture, buy the damn thing. My friend ended up on the cover of City People TWICE, and they didn't even know her friggin name!!

vindication through innocence said...

jokes!!this stalker went around churches??? Madness!!too much glue sniffin thats what it is!!

Sparkle said...

I never read d whole thing

I eat raw tomatoes too

Sparkle said...

na wa o! dats one thing about naija weddings...take picture..dem no go give u back...na so goat and cow go dey see ur picture con dey harras u
BS!
na so one tell me, "you will marry me by force...if i have to kill to marry you, I will do it"
ahhh...na prayer and fasting I go do kia kia...e no easy o...don't u just hate it when u really want someone to say "those words" to you and then some psycho comes from no where and start saying it instead...sometimes I go ask myself, c'mon am I dat bad...dis one of all ppl

all dem naija guys sef...abeg make I no start story...my paper is almost due

aloted said...

i just read this now...and men it was scary and funny at the same time. ah God forbid bad thing o..if na america abi uk na another story be dat o. anyway thank God d guy didnt place juju on u...I bind and cast on your behalf.