Friday, June 01, 2007

Plenti Gist

As I am renowned for my special abilities to jump from one gist to another, brace yourself for a very very all over the place post, but it will all make sense, make you laugh or scare you.... depending on what planet you're from or what sort of medication you refused take today.

So my week has been very eventful o but before i proceed, here's a dedication to my special William! Thank you for getting me through recent bad nites babe! I didnt like the attachment people give to 'your kind' and I wanted to prove that 'your type' couldnt be a source of comfort on those terrible nights but my dear, you came through for me!! I underestimated you! Oh yea, I'm sorry I confined you to the top of my wardrobe. It wont happen again. mwah!

in case you're wondering here is a picture of William * all rights reserved!!




pls pls pls, dont call me an agbaya o. I deprived myself of this comfort all through my teenage years. Every single one I got found its way to the basement/under the bed/bin depending on how much I liked the person giving it...(even William the only one I named found his way to the top of my wardrobe) so i am making up on lost time in my twenties but right now he is somewhere at the foot of my bed waiting to make his descent down under..I'll try to stop it...

Speaking of past 'gifts', (wink wink, here comes the digressions and randomness), People, in all of my two decades + on this planet, I got my very first wrist watch!!!! Hiss, I dont mean I have never had one, but I mean the one I purchased for myself! How amazing is that? After my father stopped buying the barbie wristwatches for me @ the time I got into high school, prospective boyfriends took over, buying me stuff....

Anyway I got my mother a wristwatch for her birthday and I was about to pay when the attendant said 'hey its buy one get one free'. I looked around. Was she talking to me? Well yes she was!
Anyway I guess I didnt technically buy it for myself..lol...it was a token with a gift to someone else..I was wondering if i should give her both since it they are rightfully hers????????Hiss, I'm already rawking it.Hhm...so I still havent bought a wristwatch for myself?Lets see maybe I never will! Lol.

Back to randomness, I was at my church office sometime this week. A man came in while I was seated and started to talk to me. He started to ask questions.Was the office part of a church? I said Yes. Do I attend the church? Yes I do but not the branch we were in. How many branches are there? I dont know o. I looked for a leaflet from the secretaries' office (thinking he is a lost soul searching for the truth) and handed it to him. He studied it. What time were their services? It varies. In my branch what time was it? I yarned him. Ehn ehn, which branch is mine? I pointed it out to him. Can I come visit you there? Oh Men!!!
Is this where he was going? You cant come visit me there now, it is God's house. Ehn, I know, I want to come and worship God with you. Kai, how do I play this one now?
I was lost o. If I say dont come, isnt that me turning someone away from church? Anyway, I asked him where he lived and pointed him to a branch that was near him. He said no he will follow me anywhere I go. Psycho! (Oh my goodness!!! I just remembered my very first stalkerrrrrrr, how could i have forgotten..lol, this post is random enough, men next time)
Anyway, I told him he was free to worship anywhere he wanted to as long as He was going to listen to God. So he said he will try to make it for the service. Luckily for me, I told him about the second service, so now, I will be making it for the early services men. My last stalker was a church one too and it was not funnnnnnnnnnyyyyyy.Ha.

Anyway last gist for today. I stepped into this place willingly. No one forced me to go there. I was introduced to her. Not long after, she was hissing and spitting and mumbling and rumbling. I knew something was up. I knew I wasnt in for a good experience. The hisses soon turned to pulling at my hair. My, she pulled my hair. My poor beautiful hair. Still recovering from the shocks of her pulling my hair, she suddenly drenched me with hot water. She drenched me in it. I looked at myself and wondered if she thought it was fair. This sort of treatment. What had I done? I didnt even know and it was all so sudden. Why was i going through this???

I was her customer and she was my hair stylist. (lol, i am trying to imagine where your thoughts have gone. ~Mimi~ don't do fights, sorry to dissapoint y'all) But seriously, I wasnt sure whether to laugh or cry as this woman treated me like I was a chicken she was scalding and skinning. She kept pouring the water on me! Sho, I dey smell??? Abeg I take shower for house o. This giant of a woman on my small self, pouring the water like say them dey pay am to wash me, abeg face the hair now. She was now washing my hair like cloth o! She was like 'your hair is long o, I can wash it like this, took the ends of my hair and started scrubbing as if she was washing her child's doodie off his pants)....Hhhmmm... finally, from my wet, and harrased body came my voice 'if you're not happy to do this, you know someone else can take over right?' ... I covered my eyes for fear that she would pour scalding water into them... lol... but she slowed down (sorry gentle is not a word I will use)..

The hair turned out great... Smelt nice too.. (lol, i have a thing for my hair smelling like fruit, its just sooo cool.. lol)

Anyway, y'all I'm done here for now. Will be back with my remaining gist esp STALKER! Him you have to hear of!

~Mimi~

17 comments:

Naija Vixen said...

FIRST!!

Naija Vixen said...

Yay...it's bin a while...i'll lyk to send a special request to iya mufutau,iya basira,baba sikiratu and all my hommies in the struggle...one love!!! Okay off to read the post...hee hee!

ExcitedJade said...

Naija vixen, u may be first here, but in my mind am first...lol

Sister mi, i don miss u tire.. wetin dey happen.. u got a watch, u know say i like awoof, please where did u get the BOGOF watch...

I almost thot a bad belle was fighting u... u sef, i wan collect the person number be that.

enjoy ur weekend.

Naija Vixen said...

Random chick...walai i thot you found sum1 to fyt you on d road...your stylist is gangstarr abeg...oh i miss vals day in 9ja...wen you get presents regardless of whether you lyk the boy or not...nd nobody will be expecting marriage...hee hee...LOL @ your stalker oh...odikwa serious & risky,i want to hear oh! Hav a fab weekend...Excited Jade--IM SORRYYYYYY!!!!

Biodun said...

lol @ ur stylist pouring hot water on u, they r be funny atimes, but u got a nice do, so its all good se? Who was stalking u, lol, sounds scary men, have a fab weekend girl!

Ugo Daniels said...

Congratulations on the watch, though technically, you didn't buy it...lol!

Seriously you had enough tym n ya hand to have been answering that man's questions. You should hav known immediately wat he was after. Its mehn like him dat make me wish...

Oh! dear, poor you going thruall those torment on ya hair...lol! Good thing it turned out well eventually.

Do have a lovely weekend! Gracias Moncho

9ja Opeke said...

There is nothing wrong with holding 'William'...d gud thing is that he will never leave you until u throw him in the trash...
I always love your random talk talk...Have a great weekend...

classybabe said...

I have had experiences with some harsh hairstylists in naija,it's like they want to give you a second bath or want to remove the scalp while washing.

The Pseudo-Independent said...

Hi there Mimi - just to say goodbye as promised am on the way out of blogsville. They say nothing is forever. Please keep this blog going at least I know where to come when I need to listen to some good music. It’s like a little candle in my heart this blog of yours is the core soother. BTW: I’m a bit jealous of William. Ok, just when you are not watching I know what Ill do. Don’t be silly which kind agbaya you dey think say you be. You are too sweet abeg. Stop dat kind talk. No wonder you got all those gifts including the ones where you wondered where the guys got the dosh to afford from. I know the feeling especially when you r such a nice person it gets very difficult to turn down attention from the opposite sex all in the name of politeness however one needs to know where to draw the line. I can remember some girl who came up to me in Oxford and asked whether I fancied going for a drink. Person wey I no sabi, I had to leg it in the opposite direction. As per your hair perhaps the lady was not thinking or had no idea it hurt however I can smell that hair “…like fruit…”. I hope you know I like the personality behind this blog sha. All the best and God bless. Trust me when I say I am sad that I will miss the continuation of this post. Ps: nice tune! “don’t change for me” who is it by? I don turn egbe finish, I no even sabi who sing dis kain good musik

Tayo said...

Hey Girl, you've come with these your random posts. Anyway, you need to go buy a wrist watch - Yourself with your own money and not on any bonanza, then I go gree say you don buy wristwatch.
Why didn't you show us your hair now? Take a pix and display ... lol @the hair dresser washing your hair like cloth.
How u dey?

chicala said...

lol@ ur stalker o, the conversation was so funny. Nawa o for shush again, God help us!

In btw, i like the kaysha sobg. its my first time on your blog and am liking it.

Favoured Girl said...

Random gist: Part 4 - lol girl your post made me laugh. I've had a funny experience with "church-stalkers" like that. One day I got off the bus to go to church in Strxxxxxm and a guy started following me. He said "Hi, where are you going?" I said "I'm going to the church down the road there" and then he said "Can I come too?" and I said "Why not?" He said "Will I be welcome?" I said "I'm an usher, so I will welcome you". Then he said, "If I can take you out after the service then I'll come" Oh I see! I told him I had plans after service and ran off!
You go girl, you're a big girl now, you can buy yourself a wrist watch! LOL

LondonBuki said...

I am going to get myself a teddy bear very soon, I am jealous of you o!

The guy at church is a serious stalker! People who claim all the good guys are at church need to read this so they can know it's not true... LOL!!!!

How long is this your hair sef? And I am on the lookout for a new hairdresser but ummm... not sure if I am going to ask you where this lady is! LOL!!!

Have a nice weekend!

Ugo Daniels said...

Is your birthday today?

jadedjune said...

hey....happy buffday....

Linda Ikeji said...

just tot to check in with u guys here...mimi, there's something about u...one day i'll find the right words...

chidi said...

is it really your bday??? then, happy bday!!