Weekend Gist.

Hey y'all. How was your week?Hope it was a nice one. Thank God it's Friday right?? Well I don't really have that much gist for you, just little tidbits.
So I was going home on wednesday evening and as I turned into my street, a car slowed down and stopped right next to me. My first reaction to this action is always that maybe the person can't find their way and they need directions and it always, always turns out never to be such a person.I need to learn! Anyway this car stops and an asian dude peeps out of the window and here goes the conversation, it was brief, sharp and straight to the point.

Asian Dude: Hi
Mimi: Hi
Asian Dude: Do you smoke weed?
Mimi: (concealing shock) No
Asian Dude: Do you sell weed?
Mimi: No
Asian Dude: Do you want to buy weed from me?
Mimi: No
Asian Dude: Thanks for your time
Mimi: You're welcome
Asian dude drives off leaving Mimi wondering and confused as to when she started looking like a drug junkie/seller but appreciated that the conversation was very polite. Lol.

Oh yea speaking of asians, something happened to me a while ago that i'd share. In a previous post I explained how some people tend to get my nationality mixed up sometimes (one man once told me to ask my mum if my dad was my real dad and I thought that was rude but I was only 10 or so then but anyway its now something I'm used to) . People trying to figure out my nationality is always a joke to me because I have heard it all from all countries, from ethiopia, to morocco, to the caribbean to asian origins to sri lanka. The height of it was when I walked into an asian shop in london (I have a thing for the asian culture as people have drove me close to thinking maybe I have relatives from there lol) and there were two men and a woman at the counter.When I went to pay for the products, the woman started to speak their language to me.The conversation went thus:

Asian Woman: &58J!!???*%$$£33"""~@@@?????
Mimi: Sorry I can't speak your language
Asian Woman: (frowns at me) you can't speak?
Mimi: No (smiling)
Asian Woman: Why no hijab? your scarf? (obviously orally challenged @ english)
Mimi: (looking confused)
Asian Woman: Your scarf..for your head?Why no tie?Why you carry your hair out without covering?You, young woman should not behave like all these london girls.Respect yourself and tie pashmina or hijab. okeey??
Mimi: (smiling) .. Ok. Thank you.
Asian woman feeling proud at having passed a message across, Mimi sparing her confusion.

Lol, maybe one day I will blog about my experiences concerning this topic, especially with nigerian guys, for example the two nigerian dudes speaking in yoruba next to me and arguing amongst themselves about my nationality and then arguing which one of them would come and 'toast' me.
I have mastered the art of pretending I dont understand Yoruba around nigerians especially in London as on every bus there is at least one Yoruba or Ibo speaking loudly on their phone or to their counterpart...Reminding me of one man on the phone on a london bus i was on one day. It was funny and at the same time pathetic and sad. Seems like I will spend the better part of today scribing conversations

A nigerian man gets on the bus looking very puffed up and upset. Sits down in front of me and folds his arm across his chest. Five minutes later, his phone rings.

Enraged Man: Can I help you?
Voice on Phone: --------- (cant hear so clearly but its a woman but jus little bits) where r you?
Enraged Man: What kind of stupid question is that? Where am i? where am i? (Loud Hissssssssssss)
VoP: -----------
Enraged Man: Don't give me all this shit men. Leave me alone. I said leave me aloonee!!!
VoP: ---

For the benefit of those who understand yoruba I will post his conversation then translate it to english for non-speakers so as not to break the flow. I should be getting paid lol.

Enraged Man: Which part of leave me alone don't you understand? Mo ni mi o ba e soro (i said i'm not talking to you). Na by force??Ehn.Ehn.Look, you are just useless.Good for noting nie (you are good for nothing). Right. You want to know where I am?Mo wa lori bus Mi o deni so ibi ti mo wa fun e. (i am on the bus and I wont tell you where I am). Right, right. You said we should go shopping. A lo. (We went). When you finished shopping and you paid (note he said 'you paid' yeye man) o wa so pe o fe sare lo check aso kan tori ni shop kan, pe kemi ba e drop eru sinu moto (you said you wanted to go and check some dress you saw in a shop and i should help you take the bags into the car). Emi na, bi mugun, mo lo sinu motor. (Me too, like an idiot I went to the car). Now, now, I am talking here so let me finish. Tell me how many minutes did it take you to check your dress? For 45 good minutes, you left me alone in the car. You did not even call to say why you were taking your time, you just behaved like someone wit no common sense.O fe kemi duro sinu motor titi shop ma close abi? (You want me to stay in the car till the shops close right?) Kon se ejo e (it is not your fault). She ni tori pe iwo lo ni motor ati pe odo e ni mo de si lati naija (Is it because the car is yours and I am staying at your place since I got here from Naija). You shall see!!! Look, excuse me excuse me, I have a Bsc and I have my Masters and I will soon start my PhD so you cannot be treating me like your slave. I dont need you to drive me around. My friend, I have a month's bus pass!!!! (@ this junction I had to pinch myself to prevent myself from laughing because he had been speaking in Yoruba half the time, I guess hoping no one understood) So take your car and drive yourself home. And dont even call me. I don't want to hear from you. Ma pe mi ra ra ra ra. (Dont call me at all, at all).

Enraged man hangs up the phone. and hisses again for punctuation. I actually thought it was not nice of the woman to have left him for 45 good minutes as he said, but mehn, the guy was vexxxxxxxed. You could practically see the steam coming out of his head. I am serious, it condensed as sweat on his bald head. lol.





Gosh I had so much to say before, digression has taken today's post. Anyway I guess today's story will come another day and I will continue my 'nationality dilemma' gist some other time. Lol.

Have a nice weekend people. I might just write again this weekend if I have time.

XxX

~Mimi~